Funny Quotes!

"Due to mandatory scheduled maintenance, the appropriate chamber for this testing sequence is currently unavailable. It has been replaced with a live-fire course designed for military androids. The Enrichment Center apologizes for the inconvenience and wishes you the best of luck."- Glados

I'm pretty sure I already said that one



"We're going to have fun, even if it kills you."- GLaDOS

Dr. House: [talking about a patient with uncontrollable laughter] He did, however, get hit by a bullet. Just mentioning.
Dr. Cameron: He was shot?
Dr. House: No, somebody threw it at him.

Gus: Don't touch that, it's blood.
Shawn: It's not blood.
Gus: Enjoy your hepatitis.

"We're going to have fun, even if it kills you"- Glados

Kris GLaDOS is written like this; G-L-a-D-O-S

Kris- "Stop eating everything."
Nik- "Don't think of it as I'm eating everything, think of it as I'm preparing to hibernate."

uh-huh, really funny quote Nik. Also, Glados can be spelled any way. So it can spelled Glados.

Kris wrote:uh-huh, really funny quote Nik. Also, Glados can be spelled any way. So it can spelled Glados.

No! It must be spelled GLaDOS

Nik's actually right. it can only be spelled GLaDOS

eklipse13 wrote:Nik's actually right. it can only be spelled GLaDOS

Yes!!!!! Someone agrees!!!!!!! It's a miracle!!!!!

Uh-huh...

"As part of an optional test protocol, we are pleased to present an amusing fact. The device is now more valuable than the organs and combined incomes of everyone in [subject hometown here]."- Glados

Shawn- "Gus, don't be a sponge with hair sticking out of it."

From the Machinima Gordon's Mind, which has Gordon Freeman narrating his expeirences in the original Half-life game

(Hurling a grenade at a wall of explosive crates) I HAVE TO BLOW EVERYTHING UP! IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO PROVE I'M NOT CRAZY!!

"This is almost getting to be like a chore. You know, wash the dishes, do the laundry, shoot the Snot Thing, empty the trash..."

"I've brushed with Death so often, I should start giving him high-fives as I pass."

(Shooting at a group of soldiers) I AM ON YOUR SIDE DAMMIT, HOW MANY MORE OF YOU DO I HAVE TO KILL BEFORE YOU REALIZE THAT!?!?

I am Captain Gordon Freeman of the Intergalactic House of Pancakes ordering you to open!

(While whacking at Head Crabs with a crowbar)
"Okay children, Class is in session! Everyone take your seats! I SAID TAKE EVERYONE YOUR SEATS! Dammit Billy, that means you too! TAKE YOUR SEATS!"

"I don't understand! Why is everyone trying to kill me?! I'm awesome! Are you all jealous!?"

"I'd just like to point out that you were given every opportunity to succeed. There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come either, because you don't have any other friends. Because of how unlikeable you are. It says so here in your personnel file: Unlikeable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikeable loner whose passing shall not be mourned. 'Shall not be mourned.' That's exactly what it says. Very formal, very official. It also says you were adopted. So that's funny, too."- Glados

Wooster: "Send a second telegram cancelling the first."
Jeeves: "I haven't sent it yet, sir."
Wooster: "Well, hurry up and send them both."
Jeeves: "...Very well, sir."

You idiots! You can't go through the fan blades! Some people just have to learn things the hard way...

[Henry wraps a tie around Shawn's eyes]
Shawn: Did you get me a pinata?
Henry: Nope.
Shawn: Pepsi challenge?
Henry: Nope.
Shawn: Am I being executed?

[on Twitter:] "In honour of Charlie Chaplin's 122nd birthday, this tweet is silent, black and white, and not particularly funny."

Hahaha That's awesome

Insanity wrote:[on Twitter:] "In honour of Charlie Chaplin's 122nd birthday, this tweet is silent, black and white, and not particularly funny."

How can you reasonably claim that Charlie Chaplin was not funny?

Don't question it

azer wrote:

Insanity wrote:[on Twitter:] "In honour of Charlie Chaplin's 122nd birthday, this tweet is silent, black and white, and not particularly funny."

How can you reasonably claim that Charlie Chaplin was not funny?

I didn't say that. It was from an account called "MrsStephenFry". But I'd agree in opinion, anyway.

"Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol, but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grid, which may, in semi-rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth."- Glados

Kris wrote:"Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol, but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grid, which may, in semi-rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth."- Glados

I have totally said that one

Lieutenant Disher: [Eating a hot dog] What's that, beef or pork?
Vendor Al: We use "meat" [makes air quotes with his fingers].
Natalie: Wh— why do you say it like that?
George Gionopolis: We are required by law to put it in quotes.

trickynik wrote:

Kris wrote:"Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol, but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grid, which may, in semi-rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth."- Glados

I have totally said that one

Lieutenant Disher: [Eating a hot dog] What's that, beef or pork?
Vendor Al: We use "meat" [makes air quotes with his fingers].
Natalie: Wh— why do you say it like that?
George Gionopolis: We are required by law to put it in quotes.

Now that I think of it, Monk ripped off C.M.O.T. Dibbler.