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Funny Quotes!

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Post  Kris Mon Mar 21, 2011 9:36 pm

"Due to mandatory scheduled maintenance, the appropriate chamber for this testing sequence is currently unavailable. It has been replaced with a live-fire course designed for military androids. The Enrichment Center apologizes for the inconvenience and wishes you the best of luck."- Glados
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Post  trickynik Mon Mar 21, 2011 10:09 pm

I'm pretty sure I already said that one



"We're going to have fun, even if it kills you."- GLaDOS
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Post  Insanity Wed Mar 23, 2011 2:38 pm

Dr. House: [talking about a patient with uncontrollable laughter] He did, however, get hit by a bullet. Just mentioning.
Dr. Cameron: He was shot?
Dr. House: No, somebody threw it at him.
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Post  trickynik Wed Mar 23, 2011 3:58 pm

Gus: Don't touch that, it's blood.
Shawn: It's not blood.
Gus: Enjoy your hepatitis.
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Post  Kris Wed Apr 06, 2011 9:47 am

"We're going to have fun, even if it kills you"- Glados
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Post  trickynik Sat Apr 09, 2011 11:42 am

Kris GLaDOS is written like this; G-L-a-D-O-S

Kris- "Stop eating everything."
Nik- "Don't think of it as I'm eating everything, think of it as I'm preparing to hibernate."
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Post  Kris Sat Apr 09, 2011 12:15 pm

uh-huh, really funny quote Nik. Also, Glados can be spelled any way. So it can spelled Glados.
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Post  trickynik Sat Apr 09, 2011 12:25 pm

Kris wrote:uh-huh, really funny quote Nik. Also, Glados can be spelled any way. So it can spelled Glados.

No! It must be spelled GLaDOS
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Post  eklipse13 Sat Apr 09, 2011 8:12 pm

Nik's actually right. it can only be spelled GLaDOS
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Post  trickynik Sat Apr 09, 2011 10:43 pm

eklipse13 wrote:Nik's actually right. it can only be spelled GLaDOS

Yes!!!!! Someone agrees!!!!!!! It's a miracle!!!!!
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Post  Kris Sun Apr 10, 2011 8:39 am

Uh-huh...

"As part of an optional test protocol, we are pleased to present an amusing fact. The device is now more valuable than the organs and combined incomes of everyone in [subject hometown here]."- Glados
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Post  trickynik Sun Apr 10, 2011 10:36 am

Shawn- "Gus, don't be a sponge with hair sticking out of it."
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Post  Kurtis Sat Apr 16, 2011 10:52 pm

From the Machinima Gordon's Mind, which has Gordon Freeman narrating his expeirences in the original Half-life game

(Hurling a grenade at a wall of explosive crates) I HAVE TO BLOW EVERYTHING UP! IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO PROVE I'M NOT CRAZY!!

"This is almost getting to be like a chore. You know, wash the dishes, do the laundry, shoot the Snot Thing, empty the trash..."

"I've brushed with Death so often, I should start giving him high-fives as I pass."

(Shooting at a group of soldiers) I AM ON YOUR SIDE DAMMIT, HOW MANY MORE OF YOU DO I HAVE TO KILL BEFORE YOU REALIZE THAT!?!?

I am Captain Gordon Freeman of the Intergalactic House of Pancakes ordering you to open!

(While whacking at Head Crabs with a crowbar)
"Okay children, Class is in session! Everyone take your seats! I SAID TAKE EVERYONE YOUR SEATS! Dammit Billy, that means you too! TAKE YOUR SEATS!"

"I don't understand! Why is everyone trying to kill me?! I'm awesome! Are you all jealous!?"
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Post  Kris Sun Apr 17, 2011 8:44 am

"I'd just like to point out that you were given every opportunity to succeed. There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come either, because you don't have any other friends. Because of how unlikeable you are. It says so here in your personnel file: Unlikeable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikeable loner whose passing shall not be mourned. 'Shall not be mourned.' That's exactly what it says. Very formal, very official. It also says you were adopted. So that's funny, too."- Glados
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Post  Insanity Sun Apr 17, 2011 10:53 am

Wooster: "Send a second telegram cancelling the first."
Jeeves: "I haven't sent it yet, sir."
Wooster: "Well, hurry up and send them both."
Jeeves: "...Very well, sir."
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Post  azer Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:13 am

You idiots! You can't go through the fan blades! Some people just have to learn things the hard way...
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Post  trickynik Sun Apr 17, 2011 12:15 pm

[Henry wraps a tie around Shawn's eyes]
Shawn: Did you get me a pinata?
Henry: Nope.
Shawn: Pepsi challenge?
Henry: Nope.
Shawn: Am I being executed?
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Post  Insanity Sun Apr 17, 2011 1:37 pm

[on Twitter:] "In honour of Charlie Chaplin's 122nd birthday, this tweet is silent, black and white, and not particularly funny."
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Post  trickynik Sun Apr 17, 2011 1:47 pm

Hahaha Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy That's awesome
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Post  azer Sun Apr 17, 2011 9:36 pm

Insanity wrote:[on Twitter:] "In honour of Charlie Chaplin's 122nd birthday, this tweet is silent, black and white, and not particularly funny."

How can you reasonably claim that Charlie Chaplin was not funny?
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Post  trickynik Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:05 pm

Don't question it Wink
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Post  Insanity Mon Apr 18, 2011 7:54 am

azer wrote:
Insanity wrote:[on Twitter:] "In honour of Charlie Chaplin's 122nd birthday, this tweet is silent, black and white, and not particularly funny."

How can you reasonably claim that Charlie Chaplin was not funny?

I didn't say that. It was from an account called "MrsStephenFry". But I'd agree in opinion, anyway.
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Post  Kris Mon Apr 18, 2011 9:12 am

"Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol, but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grid, which may, in semi-rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth."- Glados
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Post  trickynik Mon Apr 18, 2011 11:02 am

Kris wrote:"Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol, but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grid, which may, in semi-rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth."- Glados

I have totally said that one

Lieutenant Disher: [Eating a hot dog] What's that, beef or pork?
Vendor Al: We use "meat" [makes air quotes with his fingers].
Natalie: Wh— why do you say it like that?
George Gionopolis: We are required by law to put it in quotes.
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Post  Jon Mon Apr 18, 2011 1:02 pm

trickynik wrote:
Kris wrote:"Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol, but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grid, which may, in semi-rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth."- Glados

I have totally said that one

Lieutenant Disher: [Eating a hot dog] What's that, beef or pork?
Vendor Al: We use "meat" [makes air quotes with his fingers].
Natalie: Wh— why do you say it like that?
George Gionopolis: We are required by law to put it in quotes.
Now that I think of it, Monk ripped off C.M.O.T. Dibbler. Razz
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