Funny Quotes!

IzNotSpontaneous wrote:A hamster is a lot like a cigarette: they are both harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.

Heard that from Tim. No idea where he heard, but I think it's hilarious

That is the greatest and truest thing I've ever heard

LOL THAT IS GREAT.
Two quotes about going through other people's stuff (from "Monk" and "Psych," respectively):

"What are you doing? You can't look through people's mail!"
"I'm not stealing anything. I'm just combing through. I don't want to live in a world where a person can't comb through another person's mail."

[Shawn is going through a client's bag]
"What are you doing Shawn?"
"Preparing to play 'Hot Cross Buns' on the recorder. What does it look like I'm doing?"
"You can't just go rifling through another man's stuff, Shawn."
"Pretty sure the privacy barrier was broken when you duct-taped his thighs together."

GoodUsername wrote:LOL THAT IS GREAT.
Two quotes about going through other people's stuff (from "Monk" and "Psych," respectively):

"What are you doing? You can't look through people's mail!"
"I'm not stealing anything. I'm just combing through. I don't want to live in a world where a person can't comb through another person's mail."

[Shawn is going through a client's bag]
"What are you doing Shawn?"
"Preparing to play 'Hot Cross Buns' on the recorder. What does it look like I'm doing?"
"You can't just go rifling through another man's stuff, Shawn."
"Pretty sure the privacy barrier was broken when you duct-taped his thighs together."

Monk and Psych are great, and so are those episodes


Monk is better though

Well, I've only seen seven or eight episodes of Monk, and I've seen all 79 of Psych, but at this point I'd have to strongly disagree. I relate more to Monk and his hilarious OCD, but Psych is definitely better overall.

Shawn: Roy... May I call you Phil?
Roy: I'd rather you didn't.
Shawn: Fair enough.

Roy: What are you guys, UFO chasers?
Shawn: Nothing as ridiculous as that. We're psychic detectives.

GoodUsername wrote:Well, I've only seen seven or eight episodes of Monk, and I've seen all 79 of Psych, but at this point I'd have to strongly disagree. I relate more to Monk and his hilarious OCD, but Psych is definitely better overall.

Shawn: Roy... May I call you Phil?
Roy: I'd rather you didn't.
Shawn: Fair enough.

Roy: What are you guys, UFO chasers?
Shawn: Nothing as ridiculous as that. We're psychic detectives.

Monk is certainly way way WAY better then Psych. I found myself laughing at Monk twice as much as Psych. Marina and Jon will probably side with Monk as well. Maybe if you saw more Monk you'd agree

Also great is Human Target season 1. Don't watch season 2, it's awful!

I have to agree with Nik, although this is off topic.

Clerk: "I'll have to go look through the box."
Shawn: "Box! What do you think the box is? A giant room like in 'Raiders?'"
Gus: "I think it's a box."
Shawn: "Secret catacombs like in 'National Treasure?'"
Gus: "Shame on you for knowing that."
Clerk: "This is where we keep all the old unclaimed stuff from over the years."
Gus: "As I said, a box."
Shawn: "What do you think's inside the box?"
Gus: "Will you calm down?"
Shawn: "I CAN'T MAN THERE'S STUFF IN THERE! All kinds of stuff. Old stuff, shiny stuff, secret stuff - how come you're not as excited as I am?"
Gus: "Because I'm not a raccoon."
Shawn: "You look like a raccoon!"

This conversation is even funnier when watched in the first 40 seconds of this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MqfUPuDtSo.

"I'm not destroying the house. It just looks that way to untrained eyes."
"She's an adult. She's fireproof."

"Would you like a table"
"NO, I'LL JUST EAT ON THE FLOOR."

"What exactly are the ingredients of Ranch dressing? Mayo and disappointment?" - Jim Gaffigan

''I wasn't that drunk'' "dude you threw my parrot and screamed ANGRY BIRDS"

Spongebob:"Can you hear me?"
Patrick:"No, it's too dark."

"Whoever said the camera adds 10 pounds should stop eating cameras."

"WARNING: if you see tweets offering free clip of the new Nickelback album DO NOT CLICK. It links to a free clip of the new Nickelback album."

"I'm not watching the big Debate. Instead, I've hired a group of 5th graders to stand in my living room and make fart sounds." - Jeff Davis

Insanity wrote:"Would you like a table"
"NO, I'LL JUST EAT ON THE FLOOR."

"What exactly are the ingredients of Ranch dressing? Mayo and disappointment?" - Jim Gaffigan

''I wasn't that drunk'' "dude you threw my parrot and screamed ANGRY BIRDS"

Spongebob:"Can you hear me?"
Patrick:"No, it's too dark."

"Whoever said the camera adds 10 pounds should stop eating cameras."

"WARNING: if you see tweets offering free clip of the new Nickelback album DO NOT CLICK. It links to a free clip of the new Nickelback album."

"I'm not watching the big Debate. Instead, I've hired a group of 5th graders to stand in my living room and make fart sounds." - Jeff Davis

Burton 'Gus' Guster: Shawn? What the heck are you doing here?
Shawn Spencer: I should ask you the same question.
Burton 'Gus' Guster: I work here!
Shawn Spencer: I should ask you a different question.

-Psych

Kris wrote:Burton 'Gus' Guster: Shawn? What the heck are you doing here?
Shawn Spencer: I should ask you the same question.
Burton 'Gus' Guster: I work here!
Shawn Spencer: I should ask you a different question.

-Pshyc

I believe it's spelled PSYCH. You have lost your right to quote it now

Thats how I spelled it

Don't make me revoke your talking rights

Nik...you can't do that. Stop this nonsense

I can do whatever I want, I OWN THIS TOWN!

"A post lost is a post gained" -Bob

Kris wrote:"A post lost is a post gained" -Bob

Uh what? There is no bob, bro

"Nik, just post some quotes and be done with this argument" - Bob

Stop with the bob quotes

trickynik wrote:Stop with the bob quotes

Why? They're hilarious.

What about the project manager?
He slipped on an icy patch.
He was decapitated!
It was a very icy patch.

(From Doctor Who BTW)

ugh... Doctor Who? Isn't that the thing with the guy who goes back in time in a phone-booth looking thing? With the bow-tie? ugh...

trickynik wrote:ugh... Doctor Who? Isn't that the thing with the guy who goes back in time in a phone-booth looking thing? With the bow-tie? ugh...

You've now lost out on my potential respect for your opinion entirely.


"[On their deathbeds, people don't say] 'I wish I had bought that concealer on sale last week.' " -- A friend I call Chocolate Waffle

"I am drinking tea. Your argument is invalid." ~Me

"The most famous people in the country are the Jersey Shore cast, and they're never going to be confused with... someone who's read a book."

On Physics, me: "I curse two dimensional movement."

Insanity wrote:On Physics, me: "I curse two dimensional movement."

Quote within a quote within a quote ("BWOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM" <-- also a "quote" <-- also a quote)

Also, ^THIS^.