Funny Quotes!

"People die when they are killed." -- Some mistranslation for Fate/Stay Night Anime.
"It's lonely to be alone." -- Another mistranslation of some other Japanese Anime.

"Your drill will pierce the heavens!" -- Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann!
"Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry." -- Bill Cosby
" I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by." -- Douglas Adams

poetry is what gets lost in translation- Robert Frost

Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. -some one (don't know who)

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." - Albert Einstein

"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity." - Albert Einstein

"Women are like teabags. We don't know our true strength until we are in hot water!" - Eleanor Roosevelt

" curse you plastic molds men" Exterminator from OVER THE HEDGE

YAY OVER THE HEDGE!!!!!!! =D

when life gives you lemons throw them back and wait for something useful

There is no I in team, There is no U either

there is only 1 i in misery

"Fact: Starfish don't have brains... Hmmm I think I know a few starfish"
"If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem"
"A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over & going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button"
"Why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened."

- laughslast on Twitter

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils- Louis Hector Berlioz

"A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over & going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button"

- laughslast on Twitter[/quote]Or just put it on the other side of the room so you have to get out of bed to turn it off

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

I'm an angel see my angelic horns

I'm sorry, but "doreen never stops yakking" is not legal grounds for divorce.- a funny quote from The New Yorker

there is no I in team but there is a T and a E and an A and a M

It's like deja vu all over again.- Yogi Berra

why drink coffee when you have soda?

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car

"why so serious?" joker

that's isn't very funny...
I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.- Zsa Zsa Gabor

(joker found it funny...)
Darwin said we would evolve but I see us getting stupider everyday

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.- Bill Cosby

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Cleanliness in the cat world is usually a virtue put above godliness- Carl Van Vechten