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Funny Quotes!

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Post  CookieMonsterofthe42 Mon Jul 27, 2009 9:01 am

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
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Post  BobShmob Mon Jul 27, 2009 9:22 am

Alexander the Great, Napoleon, and Hitler... were apparently terrified of small felines... If you want to conquer the world you had better not share even a moment with an animal that refuses to be conquered at any price, by anyone.- Desmond Morris
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Post  CookieMonsterofthe42 Mon Jul 27, 2009 9:24 am

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson
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Post  BobShmob Mon Jul 27, 2009 9:31 am

It doesn't do to be sentimental about cats; the best ones don't respect you for it- Susan Howatch
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Post  CookieMonsterofthe42 Mon Jul 27, 2009 9:32 am

(some one is in a cat mood)
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
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Post  BobShmob Mon Jul 27, 2009 9:38 am

(I like cats!)
If you say "hallelujah" to a cat it will excite no fixed set of fibres in connection with any other set and the cat will exhibit none of the phenomena of consciousness. But if you say "Me-e-at" the cat will be there in a moment...- Samuel Butler
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Post  CookieMonsterofthe42 Mon Jul 27, 2009 10:06 am

(im typing this while holding my cat)
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
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Post  BobShmob Mon Jul 27, 2009 12:45 pm

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife -Ilie Nastase
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Post  CookieMonsterofthe42 Mon Jul 27, 2009 12:49 pm

"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."
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Post  IzNotSpontaneous Mon Jul 27, 2009 6:02 pm

silence is golden and duck tape is silver
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Post  CookieMonsterofthe42 Mon Jul 27, 2009 6:37 pm

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
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Post  BobShmob Mon Jul 27, 2009 6:52 pm

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.- Robert McCloskey
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Post  CookieMonsterofthe42 Mon Jul 27, 2009 7:15 pm

There are three sides of an argument -- your side, my side and the right side.
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Post  BobShmob Mon Jul 27, 2009 7:28 pm

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. - H. L. Menken
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Post  CookieMonsterofthe42 Mon Jul 27, 2009 7:47 pm

Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.
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Post  BobShmob Mon Jul 27, 2009 9:05 pm

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. - Steven Wright
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Post  CookieMonsterofthe42 Mon Jul 27, 2009 9:36 pm

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
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Post  BobShmob Tue Jul 28, 2009 7:53 am

Dogs have Owners, Cats have Staff.
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Post  CookieMonsterofthe42 Tue Jul 28, 2009 11:06 am

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
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Post  Insanity Fri Jul 31, 2009 11:14 am

I always wonder who was the idiot that claimed "it never hurts to try".
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Post  BobShmob Fri Jul 31, 2009 11:18 am

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...- Sir Norman Wisdom
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Post  Insanity Fri Jul 31, 2009 11:26 am

There is something definitely wrong with you if you're losing your hearing, eyesight, and memory before you turn 14. - to me XD
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Post  GoodUsername Fri Jul 31, 2009 1:42 pm

BobShmob wrote:Dogs have Owners, Cats have Staff.
So, so, so true
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Post  BobShmob Sun Aug 02, 2009 2:00 pm

yes! Cats are awesome!!

back on topic:
Half this game is ninety percent mental.- Danny Ozark
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Post  Insanity Wed Aug 05, 2009 10:52 am

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. - Don Marquis
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. - W. C. Fields
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. - Mel Brooks
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